Bush League Finally Wins One, While Six Owners Sweat Out Monday Night

Week 6 delivered exactly one final verdict before the Monday night lights came on, and it was a doozy: Bush League, mired at 0-5 entering the week, finally found the win column by throttling Kardiac Kids 90.12-64.62. That's a 25.5-point margin, which makes it simultaneously the biggest blowout AND the closest game of the week among final matchups — a statistical magic trick you can only pull off when it's the only game that's actually over. Kardiac Kids drop to the fringes of the standings while Bush League gets to feel something other than despair for the first time all season.

Everybody Else? Still Waiting.

The rest of the league spent Sunday night chewing their fingernails down to the knuckle, because six matchups are still very much alive heading into Monday Night Football, and fortunes are riding on a handful of names who haven't played yet.

• American Idol (90.78) vs. 2 Yards Under (66.1) — American Idol is sitting pretty, but 2 Yards Under isn't dead yet. They need Brock Purdy and Eddy Pineiro to go off tonight if they want to erase that gap.
• Even Bauce Can Beat WV (99.2) vs. Stinky Bastards (65.64) — a big cushion for Even Bauce, but George Kittle, Christian McCaffrey, and Mike Evans are all still on the board, so Stinky Bastards are allowed to dream, even if it's a long shot.
• I am so SMRT, D'OH (100.22) vs. Foosball is the Devil (83.58) — SMRT looks comfortable, but Terry McLaurin still has to suit up before anyone pops champagne.
• BourbonBandits (111.7) vs. Corn Shoughers (72.2) — Corn Shoughers, the league's last unbeaten team at 5-0, are in serious danger here and need a monster night from Rachaad White just to make it respectable.
• titysprinkles2 (127.54) vs. Hands Holzberger (60.5) — a massive lead for titysprinkles2, with Stefon Diggs and Brandin Cooks still due to tack on more. Hands Holzberger might want to look away.

Nothing here is decided. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise until the final whistle blows tonight.

Standings Check-In

Corn Shoughers still sit alone at the top at 5-0, though as noted above, tonight could put the first dent in that perfect record. Behind them, American Idol, Foosball is the Devil, and I am so SMRT, D'OH are all bunched at 4-1, with Foosball's 663.7 points for leading that pack in raw scoring.

At the other end, Bush League's breakthrough win still leaves them at the bottom of the standings as this recap goes to print, and Kardiac Kids now share the league's basement with them in the loss column. Misery, as always, enjoys company.

Scores reflect matchups as of Monday morning. Live games will update as Monday Night Football plays out — check back once Purdy, Pineiro, Kittle, McCaffrey, Evans, McLaurin, White, Diggs, and Cooks have all punched the clock.