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The Glory Days Gazette

Week 6: SMRT Keeps Rolling While Hands Holzberger Gets Buried

Six games, one 78-point mugging, and a points-for leader still stuck under .500.

Week 6 came and went, and the league standings are starting to separate the contenders from the teams just here for the group chat. Six games, two of them lopsided enough to make you check the box score twice, and at least one fanbase (hi, Hands Holzberger) that should probably screen their calls for a while.

The Blowout

titysprinkles2 absolutely dismantled Hands Holzberger, 140.94-62.3, a margin of 78.6 points that stands as this week's blowout of the week by a country mile. Hands Holzberger is now 2-4 and riding a 3-game losing streak - the kind of week that makes you wonder if the lineup was set on purpose.

The Nail-Biter

On the other end of the drama scale, American Idol survived 2 Yards Under, 95.78-87.46, a tight 8.3-point decision that was the closest game of the week. American Idol pushes to a 3-game win streak and sits at 5-1.

Around the League

Bush League finally got into the win column, thumping Kardiac Kids 90.12-64.62. Kardiac Kids, meanwhile, can't catch a break - that loss extends their skid to 5 games and drops them to 1-5, dead last alongside Bush League on the loss column but with far less margin for error.

Even Bauce Can Beat WV edged Stinky Bastards 114.6-104.74, stretching their own win streak to four straight and climbing to 3-3. Stinky Bastards now sit at 2-4 with three losses in a row of their own.

I am so SMRT, D'OH is the story of the season so far. A win over Foosball is the Devil, 103.42-83.58, extends their win streak to six games and keeps them unbeaten since Week 1, tied atop the standings at 5-1 with 708.7 points for. Foosball is the Devil drops to 4-2 but still leads the league in total points scored with 747.3 - proof that even good teams can lose a shootout.

BourbonBandits knocked off Corn Shoughers, 111.7-85.9, handing Corn Shoughers their first loss of the season and dropping them to 5-1 - though still very much in the hunt near the top of the standings.

Numbers Worth Noting

2 Yards Under enters the discussion of the league's most bizarre résumé: a league-leading 753.1 points for, and yet a 2-4 record. Somewhere out there, a schedule-maker is laughing.

Streaks to watch heading into Week 7: I am so SMRT, D'OH's win streak now at six, Kardiac Kids' loss streak at five, and three different teams (2 Yards Under, Stinky Bastards, Hands Holzberger) nursing active skids of their own.

Coming up next: the weekly awards column — a lighter, funnier look at the week's best and worst. Expected Wednesday morning.

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