Week 1 Carnage: Someone Named 'Stinky Bastards' Lives Up To It

Week 1 is in the books, and the Glory Days FFL wasted zero time reminding everyone why this league is equal parts glorious and humiliating. Six games, six winners, and at least one team that should be legally required to change its name after this performance.

Let's start with the ugliest score on the slate. titysprinkles2 dropped 132.2 points on the hapless Stinky Bastards, who mustered a franchise-embarrassing 75.66. That's a 56.5-point beatdown - the blowout of the week, and it wasn't particularly close to being close.

On the other end of the drama scale, Hands Holzberger survived a genuine scare from Even Bauce Can Beat WV, escaping by just 6.6 points, 136.36-129.72. Spare a thought for Even Bauce, who put up a very respectable 129.72 and still walked away 0-1 - proof that in Week 1, effort means nothing and standings mean everything.

The Ugly Win Club

Meanwhile, American Idol took down the Kardiac Kids in a game that looked less like fantasy football and more like a punt-off, 88.76-76.8. Nobody watching that box score is drafting either of these rosters in a keeper league. American Idol banks the win, but with only 88.76 points for on the season, they're the lowest-scoring 1-0 team in the league - a win's a win, but it's not exactly a statement.

Everyone Else

2 Yards Under put up the week's highest total, 153.14, to dispatch Bush League (123.5) and currently sit atop the points-for leaderboard. Foosball is the Devil handled BourbonBandits 127.76-108.72, and Corn Shoughers took care of business against I am so SMRT, D'OH, 122.46-97.36.

So after one week: six teams sit pretty at 1-0, six are already searching for answers at 0-1, and the Stinky Bastards are already staring up at the entire league. Plenty of season left - but somebody better tell Even Bauce that scoring well doesn't count for much if you can't find six more points.

Standings and all scores reflect Week 1 results only. Twenty-three weeks of chances to fix this remain.