Corn Shoughers Keep Rolling While Bush League Keeps Drowning

Week 5 is in the books, and the league's undefeated darling just keeps getting meaner. Corn Shoughers squeaked past Bush League 117.6-111.62, which barely sounds like a squeak until you realize it extends Corn Shoughers' win streak to 6 games and shoves Bush League's loss streak to a league-worst 6 games as well. Somewhere in Bush League's lineup, the fire alarm is just permanently going off now.

Blowout of the Week

titysprinkles2 put BourbonBandits through the wood chipper, 121.24-67.0 - a 54.2-point gap that's less "fantasy matchup" and more "hostage situation." BourbonBandits now carry a 3-game loss streak into next week, and at some point someone needs to check on that roster.

Nail-Biter of the Week

Meanwhile, I am so SMRT, D'OH survived the closest game on the board, edging 2 Yards Under 149.1-146.16 - a 2.9-point margin that probably came down to a kicker's extra point somewhere. The win pushes I am so SMRT, D'OH to a 5-game win streak and a 4-1 record, while 2 Yards Under drops to a 3-game skid despite still sitting on 665.7 points for the season - the most of anyone in the league. Tough sport.

Everybody Else

American Idol handled Hands Holzberger with ease, 125.02-87.68, climbing to 4-1. Even Bauce Can Beat WV throttled Kardiac Kids 127.42-99.74, stretching their own win streak to 3 games while Kardiac Kids now sit on a 4-game loss streak and a 1-4 record that's starting to look like a trend, not a slump. And Foosball is the Devil kept rolling past Stinky Bastards, 147.74-120.36, extending their win streak to 3 games and backing up a league-best 663.7 points for on the season.

Standings Check

Corn Shoughers remain the league's only unbeaten team at 5-0, with American Idol, I am so SMRT, D'OH, and Foosball is the Devil all trailing at 4-1. At the bottom, Bush League's winless season is now a full 0-5, and they'll need more than a miracle to shake that 6-game loss streak before it becomes a personality trait.

All records and streaks reflect results through Week 5 of the 2026 season.