Green Bay Gets Torched, Half the League Plays Itself This Sunday

Thursday Night Football did its job this week: remind everyone why fantasy owners age in dog years. Atlanta rolled into the week and left Green Bay in a smoking heap, and now a full quarter of this league gets to spend their Sunday nursing the bruise while everyone else pretends they saw it coming.

Thursday Night Rewind

Atlanta 35, Green Bay 14 (FINAL). That's a 21-point beatdown, and unfortunately for four separate fantasy rosters, Green Bay was the one doing the losing. Corn Shoughers, Foosball is the Devil, Kardiac Kids, and BourbonBandits all rostered a piece of that Packers implosion, which means four different owners spent Thursday night watching their season's blood pressure spike before Week 4 even opened. Meanwhile, 2 Yards Under gets to strut around all weekend because they've got Atlanta pieces fresh off a 35-14 statement win. Enjoy the high ground while it lasts.

Weekend Preview: Who's Rooting Against Themselves?

Buckle up, because this slate is loaded with fantasy owners who are about to discover the special hell of having players on both sides of the same game.

Even Bauce Can Beat WV

NE @ JAX and NYJ @ DET are both on the board, which means this roster is basically playing a scrimmage against itself twice before lunch. Add in CLE, NYG, SF, PIT, and MIN scattered through the rest of the slate and you've got a team that needs a group therapy session just to watch the RedZone channel.

I am so SMRT, D'OH

CIN @ PIT (Cincinnati favored by 3.5) is a literal intra-roster civil war. On the bright side, BUF is favored by a hefty 7.0 over the Chargers, so at least one of these guys gets to feel good about something. ARI heading into SF as an 8.5-point underdog, though? Bold strategy, Cotton.

Hands Holzberger

Two self-inflicted wounds on the docket: KC @ MIA and BAL @ DAL. That's the fantasy equivalent of betting on both boxers in the same fight. KC is favored by double digits, so at least the Chiefs side of that ledger should feel comfortable.

Corn Shoughers

Still picking Thursday night's Green Bay shrapnel out of the carpet, this roster now spreads BUF, CAR, WAS, DET, LAR, NO, and JAX across basically the entire Sunday slate. Something in there has to hit, right? Right?

American Idol

BAL @ DAL is a house-divided situation here too, but KC being favored by 10.5 over Miami should soften the blow if the Ravens-Cowboys fight gets ugly.

titysprinkles2

Double trouble: SEA @ WAS and TEN @ NYG are both intra-roster showdowns. Seattle's a 7-point favorite in one of those, so half the pain might be manageable.

Kardiac Kids

Still stinging from Thursday's Green Bay disaster, this roster is now the most exposed team on the board, with starters littered across DAL, NYG, LAR, NE, PHI, CIN, IND, and LAC. That's less a fantasy lineup and more a survey of the entire NFL schedule.

Stinky Bastards

KC @ MIA and CAR @ CLE both feature this roster on both sidelines. Somewhere in there is a good week; the trick is figuring out which half of the roommates wins the argument.

2 Yards Under

Fresh off Atlanta's beatdown of Green Bay, this team should be feeling good — right up until they realize ARI @ SF, MIN @ TB, and LV @ NO are all self-matchups. Three separate civil wars in one starting lineup is a personal record we're not sure anyone wanted.

Foosball is the Devil

Also nursing Thursday's Packers hangover, and now staring down BAL @ DAL and LAC @ BUF as two more intramural scrimmages. Buffalo's a 7-point favorite there, so pick a side and hope for the best.

BourbonBandits

The fourth and final member of the Green Bay Thursday Night Sadness Club. The silver lining: Denver catching LAR as only a 2.5-point underdog gives this roster a puncher's chance somewhere on the slate.

Bush League

LV @ NO and NE @ JAX both put this team on both sides of the ball. New Orleans is favored by 3 in that one, Jacksonville by the same number in the other — so really, it's a coin flip whether Bush League beats itself twice or just once.

All lines and totals via this week's Vegas odds sheet — subject to change, subject to ruin, subject to whatever chaos the NFL has planned for a Sunday that already looks like a demolition derby.